I need YOUR help! I have an audition for the highly anticipated sequel of a certain movie theater commercial. A commercial with a particularly notorious cult status. And as an actor, naturally, I am in massive debt. So the stakes are astronomical. Metaphysical! I have a very diverse set of skills that I can apply to it, including unconventional combinations like “headstand push-up monologues” or “panic induced musical improvisation.” But I have no idea which to use. Come and give me notes on my monologue and let’s find out if heartbreak can really feel good (in a place like this).